Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Cat Collective Uprising: The Siamese (Bomb Creation Specialist Division)

General Sasha is a highly trained bomb creation specialist. He has outlasted many of his comrades, a bleak fact that often turns him to several shots of whiskey at lunchtime in addition to the warm shot he relishes just before bed every evening. By surviving so long, General Sasha has dodged many of the plagues that seem to befall the stereotypical bomb creation specialist. General Sasha dropped his highly refined composure for a nanosecond as he talked about his comrades in his first training class.

These were good cats, strong cats. The smartest batch of cadets you could find. They are all dead now. I am the last survivor of that group. It is lonely. But we carry on as we must, dammitalltohell.

Johnny he was a good lad. Lilac Point, I believe. Smartest guy I knew. Cross eyed as hell. That was what killed him. He thought he had connected the blue wire to the other blue wire. Not so. The wires he linked together didn't like the song he was singing. Now he'll never sing again.

No matter. This is a common flaw. Not in me though...Look at my eyes. I'm telling the both of you* I see perfect.

Then there was Lily. Lily was a genius in her application of explosives. None better then her. That is until she lost the tip of her tail during a mission. They gave her morphine to dull the pain. She never got up off the couch once that train rolled in.

Chico was small and had a good eye for creating bombs that could be hidden in plain sight. Madness took hold of him I think. He devised a plan for hiding a bomb in the ear of a tuna fish. When we told him tuna fish don't have ears, he placed a tiny device in his ear and said, 'look, yes see...tuna do have ears just as I do.' Then he detonated the devise. The platoon shrink stated over a couple rounds of whiskey that he had completely lost his grip on reality during the Night Star Tuna Offensive.

So there is just me left. Me and myself.

General Sasha got up from the pillow at that point and went outside. Upon this reporting he had not reported into command for more than a week. They fear the worst.

(*I was the only other one besides General Sasha in the room at the time.)

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