Saturday, July 10, 2010

Teaching her to...

We are slacker parents in theory only... We make our child do chores but she does not have an assigned bedtime only consequences for the morning.

Put your coat on so that we can be on our way...

We do not dictate what she can and cannot think...we only ask that she be respectful. Disagreeing with another's opinions is permitted and free thought is encouraged...She will not watch the evening news as it gives her nightmares because of the brutality. She understands the difference between the real world and fantasy...

Do you have the things you need from upstairs? Come on. We have to go.

When she was three, we got in an argument about the color of her rainboots. She wanted the pink ones. I disagreed and wanted her to get the black ones so that she would not have to be genderized. She held her ground and said that black ones were fine but she really liked the pink ones. Her opinion matters and is well thought out. I can't remember the logic track that she took at the time, but I do remember thinking that the avenues upon which she was debating were cogent and well beyond what I would have done as a child of 13, let alone 3. I think there might have been mentions by her of Hello Kitty and super-punk rock. Either way, she got the pink boots.

Shoes. Get your shoes on.

She knows that the consequences for lying are often worse than what was lied about. She tested this theory out several times as a very young child. This honesty is measured with very keen observation skills as well as the lucidity to report her findings.

Did you remember your sunglasses?

I don't know if other parents will admit to liking or not liking their children. For myself, I honestly like my child. Yes, I love her because I am biologically predisposed to love and care for my offspring as a way to perpetuate my genes. But beyond that. Beyond the maternal, hormonal mumbo-jumbo...I like the person my child is. I like the way her mind works. I like talking with her. She makes me laugh.

Hold on a minute. I need to my coffee.

I am glad she is in the world.
Okay, let's go.


  1. She's very grown up and she still makes that very serious face that I talked to so many mornings as if she were an old friend, yet I had only known her for a few months. "Listen, Adele, it's like this... I'm not really sure what I'm doing with my life at this point, but I know that hanging out with you is the best time I spend in my week. Shall we put on some music and dance with scarves? Yes. I think we shall. Dave Mathews, Nick Cave or Taj Mahal? oh, yes... a song about chickens. That is a wonderful idea." And then we danced. I would love to see the woman.

  2. That you stayed with her meant so much to me. Thank you.
    I wish you guys were closer...the devastation that Victoria and Adele could unleash onto the world would be excellent...with the help of Evan too. hee hee.

  3. Being a part of Adele's life has been a precious gift and a source of great joy and inspiration and love in my life. Thank you Tim and Bridget for bringing her into the world and to Maine.